The Great Debate was one of the best #MarriedCouplesInCLE ever!!!! The people, the place, and the REAL conversation made it such an amazing event to plan and be apart. If you missed out… once again… you totally missed out!
As always, I posted the event and had a cap on how many couples could attend. I don’t like to turn couples away, but I always set a cap because the amount of people really change the dynamic of the conversation. It’s important to me in these settings that the couples feel like this is an intimate setting and that they can be heard.
Once all the couples had secured their spots ($100 a couple), I sent their homework assignments. Each couple had three tasks to complete prior to the event. The first would be come our icebreaker which was the challenge of dressing your spouse without argument (this also ended up being a contest where the winning couple won a photoshoot). Next, each couple had to submit a real debate they had recently had with their spouse (one they were open to talk about) and had to present both sides and lastly, each couple had to submit a topic they wanted to talk about as a group. From this, I picked 6 debates that we did live and then a few topics that were discussed over dinner.
In the best way possible, this didn’t go as planned. Although we had 6 topics to discuss we only got through 3! The debates were so strong and deep that I just allowed for the conversations to continue. I know I always say I won’t share all the details, but in this case I think it’s nice to share what we talked about in the debate. After breaking into two teams of husbands and two teams of wives, each group was given either the Wife’s Side of the debate or the Husband’s Side. Even if you didn’t agree you had to come up with three points to support you side. When it was your turn to come to the stage, each side presented their points and then we you had 1 minute to come up with a rebuttal. After that we voted as a group with our pink and blue fans that said Wife’s Side debate or Husband’s Side. I also gave husbands and wives the chance to say how they really feel regardless of the side. There were times husbands didn’t agree with the husbands stance and times when the wives didn’t agree. I think this is what made it great! Because people were able to give input on REAL life issues that many were currently going through. We openly debated social media etiquette, where to send your kids to school versus where you live, and husband/wives views on how long he/she prefers to stay out on a night without the spouse. The conversation was so juicy!!!
After the debate concluded we went to our king’s table for dinner. It was there the conversation continued but it was also there that we addressed an issue in the room. It had come to my attention by our gracious debate facilitators Jazmine and Chris that the wives didn’t really give the husbands the open floor to address their issues fully. We were pretty strong and vocal and sometimes overpowering the men. Acknowledging this was soo important to me! After everyone went through the buffet line, we started the dinner conversation with giving each husband the opportunity to say anything he didn’t get a chance to say, or anything he didn’t feel was heard. After that was done we went onto the biggest… most sent topic to talk about… SEX!!!! How much are you getting, how often, do you schedule it… everything! Our couples were open and honest and liked hearing that someone else was going through the same things or hearing how people were responding to the same issues.
In closing I had to make sure everyone fell back in love like they did when they first entered the doors. The debates got HOT for some couples and it was important to know hey… I still love you. We might not always agree but we are going to figure it out. The gifts each couple received had this in mind. They had to answer various questions about each other and put them in a little LOVE box. The idea was that even when going through rough patches and arguments, to pull out some of the written responses from your spouse and remember all the good things they love about you. We ended the night dancing to love songs!
As I always say, me and my husband are FARRRRRRRRRR from perfect. We do this event because we know it’s hard and we understand the importance of sharing marital thoughts and issues with other married couples. When we host, we know the level of transparency we have to be willing to share with all those in attendance so we don’t lie… we keep it honest. Many of us have the same struggles so this is why we do this!
This is why we will continue to do this.
This is why you should COME and not miss out on an opportunity to meet other married couples. I encourage you to go to my Instagram page and view the reviews from the couples on my highlights, and see some pictures and event footage. EVERYONE had a GREAT time!
Special thanks to my amazing photographer Natasha Herbert for all the photos, Jamie owner of Sadie’s Social Complex for hosting us and providing the beautiful dinner table, and Ja’Sarai Catering & Co. for our dinner!